Fat Friday: Oreo-Brownie-Chocolate Chip Bars

There is only one word that can adequately describe these bars:

Insane.

When I first saw them here at Kevin and Amanda's, my first thought was, "Oh my sweet Lord are those real?" Because . . . GENIUS. Chocolate chip cookies PLUS Oreos PLUS brownies?

Genius.

My kids have been begging me to make them for weeks and since I'm never one to say no to my kids (ahem), here they are in all their glory.

Here's whatcha need:

Your favorite chocolate chip cookie recipe - a full batch

1 package of Double Stuf Oreos

1 brownie mix (or your own homemade brownies) for a 9x13 pan

My favorite chocolate chip cookies are called "Neiman Marcus Cookies". Remember the old urban legend that was all the rage back in the '80's? If you weren't around in the '80's then google it. It also goes by other, famous department store names but the basic story is the same;

A woman eats at the famous department store's tearoom or cafe and gets a cookie for dessert. She's so impressed by the cookie she requests the recipe and is informed by her server that it will cost her two-fifty. The woman thinks "No problemo" until she gets her credit card bill and there's a charge, not for $2.50, as she assumed, but for $250.00 for the recipe. She complains to the store and gets no satisfaction so she proceeds to exact her revenge by giving the recipe out to anyone who wants it.

Isn't it a great story? Too bad it's an urban legend and isn't true. But either way, I got the recipe for free and it's my all time favorite! It uses half flour and half ground up oatmeal. It gives the cookie extra chewiness and structure. Plus it's healthy.

Because that's what impresses me in a cookie - healthiness.

Here's the printable recipe for my chocolate chip cookies AND I have tips for you!

Tip #1:

The recipe calls for 2-1/2 c. of blended oatmeal. I take this to mean 2-1/2 c of measured oatmeal, blended into a fine powder, NOT oatmeal blended up until you get 2-1/2 c. There's a difference in volume.

Here's what it looks like after it's time in the blender. It's like flour with just a few small oatmeal chunks. Perfect.

Tip #2:

My recipe calls for creaming the butter and sugars. The above picture is not what you want.

This is what you want. You'll get a better cookie if the butter and sugar are creamed long enough. I promise.

After you make your chocolate chip cookie dough, put it in a 9x13 pan. I lined mine with greased parchment paper and I was not sorry. When they were done baking and cooling I lifted the entire thing out of the pan.

Beauty.

Next you need these - almost the entire package. I say almost because my helper . . .

. . . who got braces this week, needed a cookie to make her feel better. The braces make her teeth hurt and we all know and appreciate the medicinal value of Oreos.

Place the Oreos on top of the raw cookie dough, pressing them down lightly.

Mix up your brownie mix and spread it over the Oreos. Bake 45-55 minutes at 350F. In my oven I let it go the full 55 minutes and I should have taken them out around 47 - 50 minutes. They got a bit dry.

Also, it seemed like there wasn't enough brownie batter - it was pretty thin over the Oreos and I hoped the brownie part would puff up more.

Alas, the brownie layer - my favorite part - remained thin. They still tasted amazing but I'd like to tweak it a bit. Maybe put the brownie layer on the bottom of the pan next time. I'm not sure about doubling the brownie recipe - the pan was pretty darn full by the end of baking!

Click here for printable.

You should probably go make these immediately and then weigh in with your opinion. I mean it - go do it now. Your family will thank you by worshipping at your feet. They may even erect a statue in your honor.

Because these bars are INSANE.

I'm not even sure they're legal.

I've got this

Let me see if I can remember this . . . .

Log on to Karenpie - check.

Look at picture of Lego cookies - check.

Get depressed because I'm a week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks behind - check.

Go to Facebook and play Zuma Blitz instead of blogging - check. (I'm sure there's a name for that particular Freudian defense mechanism. Unless you just want to call it basic laziness and lack of self control.)

Get a glass of wine whenever blogging comes to mind - check.

When I started this blog 2 years ago, I had so much drivel floating around in my brain so many witty and interesting things to say I sometimes blogged 4 times a week. I was in the zone, man. Of course I also expected to be immediately famous and we all know how that worked out. It's probably for the best. I mean, I don't have time to hang out with the Today Show peeps, showing Matt Lauer and Ann Curry how to make Lego cookies. It won't fit into my schedule. Which brings me to . . . my schedule.

I tend to be one of those wackos people who look forward all the time and not in a good way. Instead of enjoying what's in front of me, I'm busy crossing things off lists and planning my next 6 moves thinking, "As soon as ___ is over, I can take a deep breath and relax."

The problem is, all my fill-in-the-blanks overlap. I begin new things while I'm finishing other things. There's no margin. Except when I play Zuma Blitz.

OK forget I said anything about Zuma Blitz. Now I just look like a slacker.

Back to blogging and all slacking aside, one of the things that drew me to blogging was the idea that it could be my family's scrapbook. Kind of. Posting pictures and writing about my family counts as scrap booking, right? Please say yes because when it comes to scrap booking, I'm up to Matthew at 6 months old. Talk about slacking . . .

So when I miss a couple days weeks of blogging it's like falling behind in scrap booking which is a continual source of guilt for me. Gah. Then, when the guilt gets to be too much and wine no longer works as a distraction, I go to work.

I'm so glad we've had this therapy session. I feel much better now.

Here's what's happened lately. And by lately I mean since the middle of May.

If I remember correctly, we were ramping up for the end of school.

You know, it's not as if the end of school comes as a surprise. It's right there on the calendar. It's been circled in red for 9 months and the kids have been counting it down for 3 weeks. So why do all the activities - parties, projects, programs, reports and field trips - make me crazy?

Because they blitz me all at once. Yup. Even you're drinking wine now. Here we go . . .

Spring programs -

The fifth-graders played chimes.

The fourth-graders played flutophones.

The second-graders sang and in between times, sat on the risers while their mothers prayed fervently that they didn't have holes in their underwear, which also made an appearance.

Next up we had teacher/staff appreciation week. We made monster cookies and when I say monster, I mean MONSTER. SIZED. COOKIES.

Sorry about the blur. In addition to neglecting the blog, I've also been neglecting my photography skills.

Anyway, this ginormous cookie is bigger than my hand. My ginormous man-hand. Hence the name "monster cookie". I'll show you how to make them someday.

We wrapped each cookie in plastic wrap and slipped them in paper sleeves. Because we're professionals.

I asked the kids to write on the paper sleeves, thinking they'd do something easy like just put the teacher's name on the outside. However, Daniel decided to customize his -

This one was for Mr. Riley, the computer teacher. Daniel wrote "Thank you for all you do Mr. Riley!" on the computer screen and on the keyboard spelled out "The Kogler" with Family underneath.

Here's another one -

This was for Mrs. Nelson, who works in the library. Daniel drew a book and spelled out, "You are awesome!"

I love that kid. His creativity amazes me.

Here's one of his projects, due the last week of school -

All 4th-graders picked a state and did a big report on it. The big finale to the report was a "State Fair". The kids did posters then picked some kind of food item to serve the people coming to the fair. Daniel chose Jello because - and all of us need to know this - Jello is the official snack food of Utah. Seriously.

Does your state have an official snack food? You might want to get on that.

Katie also had a final project - The Egg Drop. Her class was tasked with finding the best possible packaging to keep a raw egg from breaking . . . when it was dropped from the roof.

Katie wrapped hers in bubble wrap and put it in a tissue box. A tissue box painted in beautiful pink and purple stripes. Let's face it folks, it's not what you do that counts, it's how you look doing it.

Pay no attention to the flimsy design of the tissue box, instead look at how pretty it is midair!

So, did it work? Did beauty save the egg from disaster?

Sadly, Humpty Dumpty did not survive his great fall.

Next up - field trips.

Field Trip #1.

The 5th-graders went to a big gymnastics center. They had a blast - especially when they grabbed the rope swing, swung out and -

. . . landed in the foam pit!

Field Trip #2.

The 2nd-graders went to the zoo. Here's Katie with Mia and Ms. Einerson. It was a beautiful day because it was the only day that didn't rain the entire week!

Whew - dodged that one.

Field Day - held inside in the gym, hallways and classrooms because - you guessed it - it was pouring rain.

Next up - 5th-grade debates. Matthew's team was on the affirmative side of this issue:

"Cats Make Better Pets than Dogs"

What do you think? Of course they make easier pets, but does that make them better?

Discuss.

On to class parties. . . .

There was goofiness in the second grade,

even more goofiness in the 4th grade and . . .

just plain goofballs in the fifth grade.

And also -

Toby made his final Show and Tell appearance of the year in Daniel's classroom.

And now you know why I drink wine.

Next up - birthdays. Lots and lots of birthdays.

Fat Friday: Lego Cookies

Do you know that someday, Legos will rule the world? Well, at least Lego-loving people will rule the world.

Believe it. Someday we'll all wake up and there will be a Lego fanatic in charge. He (or she) will make a law that we have to play Legos for at least an hour a day. He'll (or she'll) most likely make a national holiday too. It will be called "Lego Day" (creative huh?) and everyone will get a paid day off to play Legos. I can't predict for certain but this person will probably be around 12.

Lord help us.

As much as it pains me to admit, I'm ready for it. Heck, I've been ready for it for several years. Because if Legos have already taken over part of my house - why not the world?

Exhibit A. Our playroom. I vacuum it maybe twice a year. If I'm lucky.

It's not as if I haven't seen it coming. In our house, love of Legos started when Matthew was 5 and has only gathered momentum and popularity over the last 7 years. I see no end to it. Especially when I'm in the store, having been dragged to the Lego aisle by the boys, and notice grownups frothing at the mouth over new Lego sets.

Yes, grown ups. Grown up males, to be exact. It appears you don't grow out of loving Legos. Which - if I'm going to be honest with myself - is not a bad thing!

So, two weeks ago when my sweet, eldest, Lego-loving son turned 12, what better choice to celebrate than with Lego cookies? It was a no-brainer, baby. Here's how we did it!

I started out with some cookie dough.

Duh.

I am nothing if not a master at stating the obvious. (My heartfelt thanks to Bridget at Bake@350 for a fabulous cookie recipe! Her cookies are art. Plus they taste good. You should go check her out.)

Here's the recipe:

3 c. unbleached, all-purpose flour

2 t. baking powder

1 c. sugar

2 sticks salted butter, cold

1 egg

3/4 t. vanilla extract

1/2 t. almond extract

Combine the flour and baking powder and set aside. Cream the sugar and cold butter, occasionally scraping the mixing bowl. Add the egg and extracts and mix. Gradually add the flour mixture and beat just until combined, scraping down the bowl, especially the bottom.

The dough will be crumbly, so knead it together with your hands as you scoop it out of the bowl for rolling.

Roll the dough out onto a floured surface to about 1/4 inch thick.

I cut an index card into a 2" x 4" shape to make a Lego brick template. Then I laid a stick - formerly a pastry cloth holder - on the dough and used it as a straight edge. I used my pizza cutter to cut the long, straight lines.

Then I evened out the edges of the dough . . . .

. . . and, using the template again, cut the shapes.

About 30 seconds into it I thought, "Gee, a cookie cutter would be GREAT about now."

Did you know rectangular cookie cutters are not for sale? Anywhere?

Just an FYI.

See how thick the cookies are? This dough is FANTASTIC for keeping it's shape. They spread a bit but I think I was supposed to use parchment paper and I didn't. Because I'm a rebel. And also because I didn't have any.

Freeze the cut out shapes for 5 minutes then bake 10 -12 minutes at 350F.

Because mine spread a bit, I cut the edges while the cookies were still warm. It gave them a nice clean Lego brick edge.

I'm all about accuracy when I make Lego cookies, you know.

Then came the fun part - decorating the cookies. Of which I took no play-by-play pictures. You already knew I wasn't a real food blogger so there shouldn't be any surprises there.

For the first time in my life, I did the whole - outlining and flooding technique using royal icing. I've been intrigued by this kind of frosting for a long time but I gotta tell you - it's intimidating. Mostly because the cookies come out looking so professional and perfect. And I'm more of a let's-eat-the-cookies kind of gal instead of a let's-admire-the-cookies kind of gal.

However, this was really fun AND easy AND the frosting tasted good and didn't crack our teeth. Bonus! Intact teeth! I got the frosting recipe from Amanda on Tasty Kitchen. Amanda also has a blog about baking and she makes the most beautiful cakes and cookies - again, ART. Check her out, people.

Anyway, back to the Lego cookies - I had a helper . . .

This helper was in charge of the M&M's. Although it looks like she's eating them . . . . HEY WAIT A MINUTE . . .

Helper-girl was supposed to be dividing out the red and yellow M&M's. We settled on red and yellow cookies and needed the matching color, you know.

FACT: did you know the round, raised dots on Lego bricks are called studs?

This is the only stud I'm familiar with but if Lego wants to appropriate the word, so be it.

(Hey I'm married to him!)

Back to the cookies.

Here's the frosting recipe:

2 c. powdered sugar

2 T. milk

2 T. light corn syrup

When you mix it up, go easy on the milk - just a drop at a time until you get the consistency you want. When I outlined the cookies, as you can see up there in red, I wanted the frosting to be really thick. Once they were all outlined, I diluted the rest of the frosting to make it almost pourable. It needs to be thin enough that it can "flood" the area inside the outline, but thick enough to cover the cookie.

Make sense?

This frosting was enough for 13 Lego brick cookies.

When you flood the cookie, little air pockets will rise to the surface. Katie was standing by with a toothpick to pop them.

Then she put on the Lego studs. We started out putting them on the frosting right away, but the M&M's sank in the wet frosting. It looks better if you let the frosting set up before you put the studs on.

I suppose you could even let the frosting dry completely, then use more frosting to "glue" on the studs. Being the highly trained cookie expert that I am, I elected to go for the former because a) I needed to finish this project and b) I knew the 5th-graders eating them could care less if their Lego cookie studs were slightly sunken into the frosting.

It's my reality, man.

I let the cookies dry on the counter overnight, then sent them to school the next day.

Lego brick cookies.

Someday they'll be a required part of every citizens diet.

And I'll be ready.