Cookbook Winner!

Remember last week, when it was Karenpie's birthday and to celebrate, she unselfishly and generously gave you a chance to win a cookbook? That Karenpie, she may be a dork but she has excellent taste in presents!

Ah, Ina - my reluctant and unaware heroine. How I love you! I just know, in my heart of hearts that we would be full-on buds if we had the chance. As it is I'll have to worship you from afar, pretending to the BFF status and drooling over your cookbooks out here on the opposite coast.

Reading this, your most recent cookbook, is like having a conversation with you because I just know you're talking to me! Wait - that sounded a bit stalkerish. Dialing it down . . . . . way down . . .

Back to the winner - want to know which of you lucky readers got Barefoot Contessa's new book? Well, in order to make this contest completely ethical, we were very professional and used a random number generator. Since I'm so tech-nerdy I wrote the code myself. I'm cool like that - I can make cinnamon rolls and write code. The perfect woman. Anyway . . .

I'll show you the step-by-step process I used and I'll do this for 2 reasons:

1. So you'll be impressed

2. So you'll be impressed

Get ready to be impressed.

Software designer creates database.

Software designer's intern configures data to software designer's specifications.

Intern applies minimum and maximum number limits for random number generator.

Making random numbers in configurable intervals.

Making random numbers to fit a normal distribution.

Calculating using atmospheric noise/pseudo-random number algorithms.

Randomizing integer sequences.

Testing the random choice for randomness. And being super-professional, too.

And the winner is . . . . .

Congratulations Jenna! You're the big winner!

Go check out Jenna's blog - she's funny, she makes awesome food, she takes fabulous pictures and she sings! I mean, she's ME only cuter and nicer.

Boy that was stressful. Writing code and randomly generating winners is exhausting.

I need a cinnamon roll.

Fat Friday: Aloha Cake

For the last 6 weeks, I've been involved in a Bible study called, "Apples of Gold". It's a light, fun study that gives young women in our church opportunities to connect and form mentoring relationships with older women.

We start our morning with a cooking demo, followed by the study. Then, while the other women are Bible studying, 3 other women and I put the finishing touches on lunch, which is served as the study is concluding.

It's a blast!

And just so you know, I'm not one of the older women. I'm not considered mature enough, even though I qualify on a strictly age-related basis.

I'm actually in charge of the cooking - either planning and demoing the menus for each of the 6 weeks or finding others to do it.

It's a blast! I already said that, didn't I? Anyway, it's a fantastic addition to your church's women's ministry, should you be interested.

Yesterday, we had a Hawaiian theme going and I was in charge of the dessert. I know - shocker, huh? I have a recipe for a wonderful cake that I got from Mom, before she went all crazy and started eating healthy. I don't know what to do with her, honestly I don't. It's like I don't know her anymore.

Back to my really interesting, important story; I grew up calling this cake Refrigerator Cake. But I changed that this week. See, as a super-famous, highly important and influential food blogger, I need to blog about recipes with more charming titles. Super-famous, highly important and influential food bloggers such as myself can take artistic license with things like that.

It's one of the things they taught us in Super-Famous Highly Important and Influential Food Blogging School.

Long story short, I changed the name of the cake to something that would evoke visions of islands and tropical breezes: Aloha Cake. I briefly considered calling it Maui Wowee but I think that's some kind of illegal substance. Oooh! I wonder how many hits Karenpie would get if that was the title of this post? Hmmm . . . .

Anyway - you in the mood for a taste of Hawaii? It's like summer in your mouth, man. Something we all need this time of year!

You'll need:

1 box yellow cake mix

3/4 c. oil

3 eggs

11 oz. can mandarin oranges, with juice

1/2 t. vanilla

That's for the cake. The frosting ingredients are: (and let me tell you, the frosting is what makes this cake so special so DON'T CHANGE IT UP OR OMIT IT. I can find you. Seriously.)

1 box, regular size (4-servings) instant coconut pudding

20 oz. can crushed pineapple, with juice

8 oz. carton Cool Whip

Mmmmm - coconut, pineapple and mandarin oranges. Yummy.

Put the cake mix, oranges, oil, eggs and vanilla in your mixer. Yes, the oranges are whole. They get mushed up just fine!

Mix it all together for a couple of minutes, scraping down the sides as needed.

See the orange flecks in the batter? That's what happens to the oranges in the mixer. They are going to make this cake really moist and flavorful.

Pour the batter in a greased 9x13 pan and bake 30-35 minutes at 350F or until a toothpick comes out clean. You can also bake this in a jelly-roll pan for 15 minutes at 350F.

Let it cool completely. Now for the frosting!

It's not necessary to use a mixer for this but I'm lazy.

Put the dry pudding mix (NOT prepared) and crushed pineapple with juice in a bowl and stir until it becomes thick. Fold in the carton of Cool Whip and top the cake. It makes a ton of topping so you'll probably need to, um, eat some of it. Or a lot of it. You owe it to yourself.

(Click here for printable)

Refrigerate the cake and serve cold. It's moist and bursting with tropical flavor!

And now - Maui Wowee, Maui Wowee, Maui Wowee.

(I just want to see what happens. I'll let you know if any stoners tune in to Karenpie for advice on cooking. See above comments about maturity.)

SO BIG!

Who's a big girl? Huh? Who's so big - who's the biggest girl EVER?

Somebody's two! Oh happy day!

This concludes my psychological breakdown. I will now proceed to write like a grownup who is writing to other grownups.

Don't get your hopes up.

Yup. Today is Karenpie's 2nd birthday! I can hardly believe it's been that long. Two whole years of blogging. And to thank you guys for going along on the ride with me . . . .

THERE WILL BE PRESENTS!

Well, just one present . . .

See this book? I'm giving it away!

It's killing me because I selfishly want to keep it. However, you guys need some sort of reward for putting up with my loony drivel and yammering on and on about myself for 2 years.

It's called positive reinforcement.

So . . . do you love Barefoot Contessa and by love I mean do you schedule your entire morning around Barefoot Contessa on Food Network? When I say love, I mean would you be a totally creepy-stalker-person if you lived anywhere near the Hamptons and Ina Garten?

Oh, um - heh, heh, - me either. I mean, who is THAT crazy?

Because if you love Ina Garten aka Barefoot Contessa, we have a lot in common (don't be scared). I haven't gotten to the crazy-stalker phase but I have to say, I admire Ina Garten above all other food celebrities in the universe. She seems to be exactly what she is on TV - sincere, friendly, approachable and delighted with her life, her husband, Jeffrey, and vocation. She's relaxed in the kitchen and she's a good teacher.

I want to be her friend. I want to invite her and Jeffrey to my house where they would sit with Duane and me on the new sectional and drink wine and eat canapes. Homemade of course. If I knew what canapes were.

We would have a light supper of Minestrone soup and homemade bread and salad. Then I would make a rustic apple tart with homemade cinnamon ice cream for dessert. We would laugh a lot (because I tend to do that when I drink wine) but mostly because I would be exceptionally witty and entertaining but in a classy way, not like my usual way. And I wouldn't do anything dumb like forget to put napkins on the table or talk about hot flashes or complain about 5th-grade homework.

By the end of the night I would have Ina's personal cell number and we would be Facebook friends. We'd probably spend the rest of our lives exchanging recipes. It would be dreamy. . . .

WAIT . . . wh - wha - what? Who? Where am I?

I love my fantasy life! I also love Ina Garten.

So . . . who wants to win her new book? There are only a couple of Nutella smudges on the pages from me, drooling over it. I consider that an added bonus and won't charge you extra for it.

Just leave a comment, telling me who YOUR favorite food celebrity is! And - just so you know - it's OK to say Karenpie. It'll probably increase your chances of winning. I have no problem with choosing favorites if you flatter me.

We'll have a winner by next week. Sometime. Not sure which day. Okay, sometime in the next month. Or by Easter. Make sure you leave your contact information in the comments, too.

I'll give you until next Tuesday then I'll close the comments and pick a winner!

Love you guys. Thanks for sticking around these last 2 years.

It's been a blast!

Fat Friday: Can't Leave Alone Bars

Poor Fat Friday.

So neglected. So mistreated. So ignored.

Today I'm turning it around. I know, without a doubt, this recipe will get me on your good side. These bars are so good - rich and gooey and chocolatey and easy - I would sell one of my kids for them.

OK, not really. They would definitely sell ME for a pan of them.

I got the recipe from my friend, Becky, who brought them to a Boy Scout event and when I tasted them - oh my word when I tasted them! - the heavens opened, a ray of light shone down and a Voice said,

"Don't be a hog and eat all of them, for crying out loud."

Here's how you make them!

1 box of cake mix

2 eggs

1/3 c. vegetable oil

1-14 oz. can sweetened, condensed milk

1 c. chocolate chips

1/4 c. butter

About the cake mix - the original recipe called for a white cake mix. As you can see in the picture, I substituted chocolate. Like you're surprised.

I've also substituted other flavors of chips - peanut butter chips with a chocolate cake mix is a hit with the kids. Mint chips would be good too. The possibilities are endless!

Microwave the chocolate chips, condensed milk and butter in 1-minute increments, stirring after each one.

It helps if you have a kitchen helper who likes to stir.

Put the cake mix, oil and eggs in a mixing bowl and stir it up.

Take 2/3 of the dough and press it into a 9x13 pan. I pressed it up the sides a bit, too.

Because you're going to do this . . .

Pour that gooey, fudgy, chocolateyness on the dough. If you occasionally need to take a taste, I won't tell.

Scoop up pieces of the remaining dough and do this . . .

Oh look. Teeth marks.

It seems I have no problem ingesting raw eggs.

Once you're done sampling the dough and assuming you have enough left over for the recipe -

- drop it in clumps over the top of the gooey layer. Letting some of the gooeyness show through.

*TANGENT ALERT* I love the word gooey. It's a comfort word. It evokes images of warm, chocolatey bliss. It's associated with some of my best friends, the Carb Family.

Let your kitchen helper FINALLY lick her fingers.

Bake 20 -25 minutes at 350F.

Here's what they look like if you use a white cake mix. It's a bit easier to tell when they're done baking - they get golden brown across the top.

But the chocolate ones are my favorite.

Let them cool before cutting.

Eat.

Nominate me for a Nobel Prize. I think I would qualify in the literature category.

Plus that would move me along in my goal of being famous by . . . today.

(Click here for printable recipe!)

Magic

GUESS WHAT?!

Everything's OK in the Karenpie household this week. The situation has been resolved! Isn't it amazing? Something that broke my heart for 6 weeks was fixed in 2 days. And all because I blogged about it. I know, I know - you guys were prayerfully interceding on my behalf and I'm so very thankful but here's another option . . . . .

I think this blog has magical powers.

Let's look at this logically. A seemingly impossible situation, unresolved conflict eating me alive, my insecurities running rampant, stress, lost sleep - all taken care of in a matter of days after I blogged.

See? You're rethinking the magic, aren't you?

Now - stay with me here - since this blog has magical powers, I'm going to use it. I've got another issue that needs attention so I'm going to tap into the bloggy magic.

As you know, we've been doing a tiny little project I call, "Redecorating The House" or, as Duane likes to call it, "Karen Needs to Get a Job so She can Pay For It". Let me show you some of the details of my very hip, very happening, very grown up family room . . . .

New clock from Home Goods. It rocks. It was also $200 cheaper than the one I saw in a catalog. Score!

New, round coffee table with 2 matching end tables (my apologies about the blur). I love the circular inlay and the grain of the wood. It fits perfectly inside our sectional.

Buffet behind the sectional. Black picture frames found on sale at Michael's.

Buffet lamps found at Ross, leopard lampshades at Fred Meyer. Duane pitched in and took the original shades off because - get this - they were permanent. He had to cut them off the lamp base. Thank goodness for a husband with a garage full of tools and the know-how to use them. Whoever heard of permanent lamp shades? Sheesh.

Found this at Hobby Lobby in Salina when we were home for Christmas. For those in the Northwest who have never heard of HL - it's Craft Warehouse on steroids. Oh my word do I love Hobby Lobby.

We also have pillows, throws, candles and I've had some pictures reframed.

But this is my favorite, found at World Market . . .

"Sometimes the heart should do things without the brain's permission"

I big puffy pink heart it!

I'll admit, I've been going a bit overboard. Frankly, I'm surprised Duane hasn't received any calls about unusual activity on the credit card. Anyway, it's time to access the magic, people. Here's what I need . . . .

I need to be famous by Friday.

Famous people have money to redecorate. I need to start redecorating my living room, therefore I need to be famous.

I'll give it a couple days before Oprah calls.

She Lives . . .

Hey guess what?

I'm not dead.

When I looked back at my last post's date of February 3rd - 5 weeks ago - I almost, but not quite, succumbed to a tidal wave of guilt by eating an entire package of Thin Mints.

It feels like a year. So much has happened in the Karenpie household, I barely know where to start. Heck, I don't know if I can remember it all. To be totally honest, I don't want to remember it all but isn't that the way of it? It's the hard stuff that sticks in your head, polluting the good things.

It's crazy how the hard stuff silenced my blogging voice. I honestly couldn't muster up the energy to write. I felt like I was living my life in black and white. Anyway, without going into a lot of detail, here's a free-form analysis of Karenpie's past month and a half. As usual, you may need an adult beverage before carrying on.

1. Friendships are precious. They should be handled as such - even if you need to say hard things to each other. If you tell a friend something difficult, it doesn't mean the friendship is over, it means you're acting like a grownup. Cherishing and nurturing a friendship is worth it. Do you - seriously - have so many friendships that you can just delete one and it won't matter? Come on.

2. I don't care how many boxes of Thin Mints you eat, it still won't erase the hurt of a lost friendship.

3. Neither will tequila shots. But being silly with other friends after tequila shots sure takes the edge off. Until the next morning.

4. Fifth grade homework ain't for sissies.

5. I'm a sissy.

6. Whenever I feel like fifth-grade homework and lost friendships are too much to bear, I go look at my new family room. I instantly feel better. It's almost as good as Thin Mints.

Family room before.

Family room after.

7. You know what else feels better? Taking a quick trip to Napa Valley with your husband and drinking wine all weekend. It's especially fun if you do it with other wine-loving friends.

Lunch at Napa General Store. Which had a gift shop where I found - seriously - the cutest purses in the history of purses in the universe. They cost $198. I figured I'd rather have a new rug under my kitchen table.

New rug. Found online at Target.

I love Target.

I also love you guys. You're much better for me than Thin Mints.