Cranberry Butter

OK, it's not Fat Friday and all I have to say about THAT is . . . whatever.

My life has been crazy lately. I have no margin. No down time. No free time to play Bejeweled on Facebook. No Bejeweled on Facebook? The world has gone mad!

Whenever I can't get to posting on this here blog thingie, I feel guilty. I feel bad when I think of you guys checking in and seeing that same old picture of the pumpkin ginger cranberry braid. By the way, did you try it? What did you think? Did you erect a statue in my honor on your front lawns? Anyway, back to me . . .

About the guilt thing - I'm done with it. There's nothing more tiresome and annoying that people who apologize all the time about the minutiae in their lives. The minutiae that happens to BE their lives. So, I'm going on record here - no more apologizing for my erratic blogging. I have a life and sometimes it doesn't include the computer. I only wish it would include a full time laundress and cook and dishwasher.

Any takers?

All that being said, it's enormously humbling to me, that you think my life is interesting. Interesting enough to read about here on Karenpie. Are we still friends? Because real friends will listen to the whining and then bring you dinner. That's what I'm going for. Someone to feed me and my family. Because it sure as heck isn't ME. Can anyone say "Subway"?

So, before we're all sucked into the black hole that is my over-scheduled life, I want to show you how to make this fantastic butter! Is it OK, since it's not Friday? Will you accept it anyway? Because this would be a wonderful part of your Thanksgiving table! You probably already have all the ingredients, too.

Ready?

You only need four ingredients:

3/4 c. frozen cranberries - buy them fresh & freeze for a day or two before using

2 t. grated lemon peel

6 T. powdered sugar

2 sticks butter, softened

Sometimes I only use three ingredients and leave the lemon peel out. Depends on whether

a) I feel like grating lemon peel and

b) if I have a lemon laying around that isn't crusty and moldy and hard. Just sayin'.

Grate the lemon peel using your Microplane grater. What? You don't have a Microplane? HAVE I TAUGHT YOU NOTHING? Go to Bed, Bath and Beyond right now and purchase one. Yes, NOW. I'll wait. We'll all wait for you. Don't feel guilty or anything. That you're holding up the whole operation because of your refusal to buy an inexpensive and indispensable kitchen utensil.

Are you back? Don't ever let that happen again, do you hear me? I am in NO MOOD, Missy, to put up with your fits. Just learn to obey me immediately and we'll all be happy. On with the show.

So, you've grated a couple teaspoons of lemon peel, right? Put that, the frozen cranberries and powdered sugar in the bowl of your food processor. What? You don't have a food processor? Unfortunately, you need one for this recipe. I suppose I could be flexible and show you how to chop up the cranberries in teeny, tiny little pieces but, um . . . . I'm me. Go buy a food processor.

Start pulsing the mixture until the pieces of frozen cranberry are very small.

Then add the butter. Your life will be easier if you cut up the butter in small cubes first. Then, once again, pulse the food processor to mix everything up. You will have to occasionally scrape down the sides of the bowl.

It will turn a lovely shade of bright pink! It will also be a bit crumbly. When everything's at room temperature, it will be smooth and spreadable. Right now the frozen cranberries have caused the butter to firm up again.

This butter is festive and tasty. It's tart with just a bit of sweetness and it's fantastic on your grandmother's homemade rolls. WHAT? You don't make homemade rolls for Thanksgiving? I feel an intervention coming on.

For several years I have made this butter and packed it into half-pint jars at Christmas. I pair it with loaves of homemade bread and give it to the guys in Duane's office. It's a hit! It will also keep for a long time in the fridge.

At least long enough for you to learn how to make homemade rolls.

Happy Thanksgiving, dear ones!