I'm such a stud . . .

So . . . what did you do last weekend? Anything fun? Anything athletic?

Oh, me? What did I do? Well, since you've asked . . .

Portland to Coast, baby. A 126-mile walking relay from Portland, Oregon to Seaside, Oregon.

(Tangent Alert: Look at the above picture. Isn't it interesting how reflective vests um . . . . reflect? Just thought you'd find that interesting.)

I really and truly did it, people. Clarification - our team did it. The High Maintenance Chicks were at it again.

Here's a question; how fun is it for a wimp like me to hang out with real athletes? Answer: real fun. Because when you hang out with real athletes, everybody thinks you're one of them. Kind of like when you sit at the cool kids' lunch table and just the proximity makes you feel cool, yourself.

We have a team of 10 women, I mean chicks, and we're divided into two vans. Here are the chicks in my car -

Davi, Melissa, Amy and Lisa. This picture was taken at approximately 0400 on Friday morning. Our start time was 0415. We were a bit groggy but covering it up by smiling real big.

Finish Line! We finished the race in just under 30 hours. Talk about groggy. Groggy doesn't even begin to describe how we felt at this point.

All of the chicks. We have such a fun team!

After going across the finish line, we head to the nearest restaurant for a HUGE breakfast. It's the one time a year I eat biscuits and gravy and don't feel guilty. After walking 17+ miles, I've earned my biscuits and gravy, man.

So, we do the whole - "I'm an athlete and I'm walking a bunch of miles and all" then we do what any elite athlete would do . . .

We shop for earrings.

Let me tell you, living up to the High Maintenance Chick reputation takes no work at all. No work at all, folks.

This year, our shopping took a slightly different course because there was a new Costco in the area. And we were hungry. And we were out of cash because we spent it all on earrings. And you know what Costco has on the weekends? Samples, man. Or, as I like to call it, "Senior Citizen Buffet".

So, off to Costco the High Maintenance Chicks went. We ate and laughed our way through Costco and guess what we found? Get a load of this . . .

Our lovely model, Amy, is holding something we all need desperately. Let's take a closer look, shall we?

Weight Management Chocolate.

Weight Management Chocolate?

Weight Management Chocolate.

At first I thought the sleep deprivation, sore muscles and trying to pass myself off as an athlete had somehow caused me to travel to an alternate universe. A universe where chocolate makes you lose weight and is a balanced part of a healthy diet. A universe where I want to live out the rest of my days, man.

Then I shook my head, took a couple of pictures and bought a bag of black licorice. Because everybody knows how healthy that is.

Especially those of us who are elite athletes.