Nine? Seriously?

Yesterday we had another birthday in the Karenpie household and I've gotta tell ya - I'm sick of them. They need to just stop. Stop changing and growing up. STOP THE MADNESS, I tell you!

Daniel turned nine yesterday. The above picture is as up to the minute as I've got, but this is how I think of him . . .

. . . our sweet little bundle, the day we brought him home from the hospital. He was almost born in the Suburban. It's a great story. You should ask me about it sometime.

Or I think of him like this with those squishy, puffy cheeks. Deliciousness. He was - and still is - our squishy boy. We called him Squish.

On his first birthday, we had just moved to the Vancouver area. Gram and Gramps were visiting and getting lots of quality grandkid time with Daniel and big brother, Matthew.

Matthew was 2 1/2 years old and speaking total alien gibberish. We had no idea what he was saying but there was one word that was repeated frequently - gush. Rhymes with "push".

Gram is the one who figured it out. "Gush" was Matthew's name for Daniel. He was trying to say "squish" and that's what came out. From that day on, that's been our name for Daniel.

Gush. It has a certain ring to it, doesn't it? Someday, when he's a 6'5'', 240-pound defensive end for the Kansas State Wildcats, his name might possibly become a verb.

ESPN announcer: "Did you see that block by Kogler? That lineman was gushed."

But until that time, he'll be Gush. I have to say, calling him that in front of his 3rd grade friends doesn't get me points. I have to retrain myself to call him Daniel when we're out in public.

Sweet, sweet, tender-hearted, gentle-spirited, generous little boy. He's an unusual mix of reserve and confidence. He doesn't put himself and his goofy sense of humor out there for everyone, but it's not because he's shy - he just doesn't feel like it. He's our kid who, when he's tickled about something, absolutely dissolves into laughter. And he takes us along for the ride when he does.

He loves Jesus and constantly surprises me with his probing questions. Questions like;

Daniel: "Mom, when God was a baby where was He born?"

Me: "In a stable, Gush. Remember how they put baby Jesus in the manger?"

Daniel: "Not Jesus, Mom. God. Where was God born?"

Um, yeah. I'll dive right into the conversation about God being the self-existent Creator. With a five year old. Or how about this one;

Me: "Gush, I've noticed that Fred isn't very nice to you when you play. Do you really want to play with him? If you don't it's OK to say "no" when he asks to play. Those are called consequences. You don't have to play with someone if you feel bad when you're with them."

Daniel: "Yeah, but Mom - what about mercy?"

Alrighty then. My six-year old, setting an example for me.

Happy birthday, sweet Gush. You are the joy of my heart.

How I know I'm not a real blogger

We had great plans last Thursday.

These plans included travel - flights and a rental car and seeing family. All of the Koglers were gathering at the farm for Christmas. There would be food! Hilarity! Late nights and card playing! Puzzles would fit in there somewhere as well.

Living in the Pacific northwest, we depend on cooperative weather - both here and in Kansas - so we can travel. So, on the 23rd we were packed and ready for our flight the next morning. Presents were wrapped, the house was relatively clean, kitties and mail and trash were taken care of, refrigerator almost empty and . . .

. . . the Kansas weather didn't cooperate. We were snowed out. As in blizzard conditions. No way to get to Salina on Christmas Eve. We hoped the weather would ease up and we could come on Christmas day. Then it was the day after. Then we gave up.

Dang.

There would be no turkey or ham. None of my mother-in-law's butterscotch pie. No Pitch or Norwegian poker. No puzzles. No hilarity as my college-age nieces unwrapped their gifts of teeny-tiny feminine undergarments and gleefully showed them to Uncle Larry, who would like to believe that his nieces would never wear such things.

Of course, this all happened. Just not with us.

So, we played it by ear. We had a quiet, restful Christmas - not as lonely as I anticipated. We went to the Christmas Eve service at our church which we miss every year because we travel. It was so special! After church we went to Patti and Steve's for a Christmas Eve buffet and stayed there late, drinking wine and solving all the problems of the world.

Isn't it interesting how easily problems are solved when you have a couple glasses of wine under your belt? It would be even more interesting if I had pictures to show you.

See, real bloggers carry their cameras around with them at all times. Guess you know what that makes me. That's right - a fake blogger. I could have shown you Patti's gourmet kitchen and her beautiful buffet but I'm a big fake.

Fortunately I used the camera the next day. We had a wonderful Christmas morning! It was just us. And even though we were missing the rest of the family, it was lovely and restful.

All is calm, indeed.

Surprise, surprise - look what Santa brought!

It just wouldn't be Christmas without legos, folks.

Some of us had a harder time waking up . . .

. . . but new headbands made it all better . . .

I made cinnamon rolls - the easy kind - introduced to me by my friend Lynn. She uses her bread machine to mix and raise the dough and has all kinds of fantastic recipes on her site. Yum! I let the bread machine do the work while we opened presents.

We stayed in our pajamas until 3 p.m. Delicious.

Then - and this is the mark of true friends - the Bonners had us over for Christmas dinner. They took pity on our refugee status and shared their roast beast with us. It was fabulous. I made some bread that's been in my Want-To-Try-Queue - Pumpkin Ginger Cranberry Braid. I'll definitely be making that again.

Johnathan and Jennifer, the Bonner's nephew and his wife, were also present. They live in Logan, UT. Pretend I took a picture of them.

Dawn and Kellen rearranged the table settings to accommodate the five of us. Duane took this picture, not me, the fake blogger.

Tangent Alert: Do you think Kellen looks like Taylor Lautner or Ben Affleck? I was leaning toward Ben but then caught a pic of Taylor so I'm on the bubble. Either way, don't tell Kellen. He's a punk and we don't want him gettin' the big head.

The Great Caramel Pie Caper. Glenn has been jonesing for years for a caramel pie he remembers from his youth. A pie the church ladies used to bring to Baptist pot luck suppers. He managed to get a recipe from a reliable source and wanted to try it out. Of course he needed my expert advice.

Plus he needed an assistant to keep the finished pies away from Sophie the Pie-Eating Dog. Yes, it was Sophie. All her. Not Lilly. I always believed in Lilly's innocence and I WAS RIGHT.

Hmmmph. Told you so.

Christmas was good in our neck of the woods, despite the lack of photo documentation to prove it. How was yours? Any fun stories to share? I'd love to hear them.

Love,

The Fake Blogger

Sweat Shop

So, how've you been? Got all your shopping done? I thought I was done until I went to the mall yesterday. Then I realized my list was not nearly LONG ENOUGH. I forgot to mention how much more stuff I need. Things like Sarah Jessica Parker's "Lovely" perfume and a bazillion things from Chico's and a silicone rolling pin from William Sonoma and the entire inventory at the Brighton store.

Told you I was shallow.

Can you tell I was at Washington Square Mall? I was there with my smart ass sister, Nancy. And before you get offended on her behalf, calling someone a smart ass is the highest compliment I can pay another human being. Plus it's true. Her job as a secretary in a high school has refined her smart ass behavior. And given her some seriously funny stories to share.

Nance and her family are visiting from Missouri. Her in laws live up in Anacortes and they'll be spending Christmas with them. They decided to hang out with us for a few days before driving up there. We've been:

1) Making cookies

2) Eating

3) Shopping

4) Turning our family room into a sweat shop and forcing her two high-school age daughters to make us scarves.

It's true. Emily and Amy are working for free and hand-weaving scarves. So far I've got three. If they'd step it up I could have more before we head off to Kansas tomorrow. Pip squeaks.

Somehow, they weave multiple strands of yummy, coordinating colors of yarn around their fingers and turn them into scarves. I've become a yarn junkie and we've been to JoAnn's, Michael's and Fred Meyer no less than 5 times in the last 24 hours, finding new colors and new combinations of colors. The yummy pink scarf Amy's weaving in the above picture is mine. MINE. ALL MINE. BWAAA HAA HAA HA HA!

Here are five of the scarves they've done so far. They can make one in less than an hour. Or two SpongeBobs. It's a win-win. They get to watch mindless TV and I get scarves.

We took pity on them and took them out for lunch. My sweat shop has standards. Besides, they work faster with food on board. So . . . all nine of us went to Beaches for lunch. The best part is we had a kid's table and an adult table and yes, I was at the adult table.

Kids . . . .

Adults. I mean Steve and Nancy. Steve's a DCE in a Lutheran church. A DCE is "Director of Christian Education" and is secret code for "youth pastor" in the Lutheran world.

"Yes. Uh huh. Why yes, Mr. President, I do have some advice for you and I'm glad you contacted me but this is a bad time . . . . "

" . . . there are people around and this is a highly sensitive matter. National security could be compromised. We need to discuss this at a later time. "

"Barak, I'm turning my cell phone off. This isn't a good time. I'll call you."

"I totally heard that and it was the message I left you yesterday on your voice mail. Like a thousand high school students haven't tried that already."

It's so fun having them here! Now I need to go get ready for our Kansas trip. Like, pack. For me and the kids. Before I do that I need to do laundry. And wrap presents. Because we leave tomorrow at 8 am.

Did I leave too much for the last minute? I'm gonna go eat some cookies. It'll make me feel better. Oh, and hey! Have a merry Christmas!

Good news and bad news

Good news: I bought a birthday present for my niece - a Target gift card. Bad news: I lost it. More bad news: I've looked EVERYWHERE for that sucker and can't find it. Good news: now the house is totally straightened up because I've searched and organized every nook and cranny.

Good news: I got a new card for her. Bad news: I got pulled over for speeding on my way home from buying the second fracking card. Good news: I didn't get a ticket. The kind, young officer gave me a break. Bad news: he probably took pity on me because I turned into a big baby and started crying.

Good news: I got all the breads done for our teacher gifts. Bad news: I ran out of ingredients and had to go to the store in the middle of making them. Good news: I timed it so the final batch was baking while I was sitting in the carpool line at school. Bad news: I was a little uncomfortable about baking bread while not actually in the house. Good news: It came out just fine. Bad news: I was so anxious to get home to the bread I forgot Daniel at school. I remembered the other 6 kids I was picking up but not my own son.

Good news: I had an open bottle of wine at home. I started in on that baby at 4:48. Bad news: there is no bad news about open bottles of wine.

Sheesh.

If I could just catch my breath . . .

I think I'm going crazy. Every Christmas it happens and every Christmas I tell myself, "Not next year! Nope. I will have a BRAIN come next December and I will use it."

How many self-help geniuses have I heard or magazine articles have I read about "making the holidays more serene"? Bottom line - just stop doing so much. Learn to say no. My problem is I like to do everything. I like to bake and give homemade presents and Duane and I really love to entertain.

The smart part of my brain asks, "There are only so many days in the season, why don't you cut back a little?" Then the psycho part of my brain says, "Shut up". Psycho Brain wins every time because Smart Brain hates confrontation. Psycho Brain thinks it can do it all. Smart Brain is a wuss who won't stick up for herself.

Any day now I'm going to install a valium salt lick in my garage. I think Psycho Brain and Smart Brain will get along a lot better after that.

I'm in the midst of baking approximately 34 loaves of bread. Oatmeal-Whole Wheat bread. It's fabulous and healthy. I'm making this bread to give - along with jams I put up last summer - to teachers, friends and Duane's employees for Christmas gifts.

Some of the loaves are large, like these. Some are mini-loaves. Who gets what? Depends on how much I like ya.

The bread will be packaged using these bags and tags . . .

. . . created here, in Santa's workshop, otherwise known as the stamping room which is also called a dining room. My kids don't know what a dining room is, since ours always looks like this.

Whoa! What just happened? I didn't know there was carpet in here! Those elves . . . always cleaning and working and making things sparkle.

This happens once or twice a year - I clean the stamping room and actually turn it into a dining room. This time it was for Duane's company party, held at our house last Friday night. The party was small and relaxed and fun. A few people didn't show up and you know what that means? Leftover city, baby.

Let's see, I've got a clean, decorated house and a ton of party food. What to do, what to do, what to do . . . .

I'VE GOT IT! Let's call our friends at the last minute (we wouldn't want to give them much notice, you know) and invite them over. It'll be another Christmas party! Spontaneity, that's what I'm all about.

I'm a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kinda gal. Why plan? Especially when you have friends who you KNOW will be available at a moment's notice. They say it's because they're losers with no social life. I say they're keeping the calendar open in case Karenpie invites them over for snacks and adult beverages. Either way, it works for me.

Dawn and Glenn have no social life I mean are really spontaneous. Who wouldn't like to spend time with them? You can hardly tell Glenn has a debilitating migraine, can you?

And Steve and Patti? Just looking at them, can you believe they'd be home, watching TV, on a Saturday night? Me either.

Now these guys? I can believe it. Oh wait a minute, I'm married to one of them. It's too bad they're so uncomfortable having their picture taken.

This is the only way we can cope with the shenanigans. Patti is my role model in so many ways.

Attitude? You're giving me ATTITUDE? Have another beer, Rick. It's a little easier having your picture taken when you have a few cold ones on board. And don't worry about the possibility of being on the blog. That's not why I take pictures! Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. I'm just practicing my photography skills. Don't . . . you . . . worry . . . about . . . a . . . thing.

Trust me.

In fact, use your wife as an example. Monica's perfectly beautiful and perfectly happy on that side of the camera.

So the lesson here, people, is . . . are you ready for it? . . . . an active social life is for LOSERS.

You need to keep your calendar free and, therefore, your OPTIONS open. You never know when you'll get a call from Karenpie, inviting you over.

Huh. Maybe you want to fill up that calendar after all.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

Oh, how I love all the stuff that goes along with this season! Don't get me wrong - celebrating the birth of Jesus is the primary focus - but I adore the "stuff".

You know -the smells of cinnamon pinecones in the grocery store and gingerbread cookies baking. My favorite Christmas CD's that I put on "repeat play" and will listen to for a solid day.

And of course, the Christmas decorations. Those cherished and sentimental favorites that I unpack and greet like old friends after being stored in boxes for 10 1/2 months.

Can I share some of them with you?

These are my Christmas dishes. I put the everyday dishes away and we eat exclusively off of these for the season. My food actually tastes better when eaten off of these plates.

I have a confession - I'm a junky. I love plates and tea cups and pitchers and . . . I just recently discovered the store, Home Goods, while shopping with Patti and Dawn. When I walked through their door it was like the mother ship calling me home. The dishes. OH MY WORD THE DISHES IN THAT STORE.

Here's my favorite mug. I began collecting the Waechtersbach Christmas mugs way back in the eighties, when I was in nursing school. I have 10 of them, all different.

What is it about the word "joy"? I love the word - it seems to inspire not only a feeling but an attitude. This word is scattered throughout our home. It's on coffee cups, plaques, ornaments and mantle decorations. I like to think it's scattered throughout our home in less tangible ways too.

Here is my next favorite mug. My mom sent these a couple of years ago. I love his kind face and long eyelashes. Lattes taste especially good out of the Santa head.

Um, wait - that doesn't sound very . . . um . . . never mind.

Here's our advent calendar. Mom sent me this too. Each of the numbers is on a little door. When you open the door there are magnetized figures behind them. The kids take turns placing the figures on the background. By Christmas Eve, all the figures are in place - stars, angels, sheep, camels, wise men and shepherds and the nativity. We always save baby Jesus for the last day.

These are my kids' stockings, made by my sister, Nancy. She made them and gave them as baby gifts, the years they were born. I love the detail and sparkle! Nancy's so good at this stuff.

This is my favorite tree ornament. My mom gave it to me a bazillion years ago, probably when I was still in college. It's made out of metal and is extremely delicate and light-weight.

Prior to putting the ornaments on the tree, the kids love to play with them. We have trains and trucks, Barbies and Santas, candy canes and Star Wars figures - a real hodgepodge. I don't think I could ever have a designer tree with matching and coordinating ornaments. Wherever would the handmade-popsicle stick-handprint-pipe cleaner ornaments go?

And finally, the newest member of my greatest hits list - the annual Swarovski snowflake. I got my first one last year. It's hanging in my sunny kitchen nook on a tiny, almost invisible fishing line. When the sun hits it, it throws prisms all over the kitchen-family room area. Beautiful!

And that's it for "Karenpie's Greatest Christmas Hits" and I just realized my mom has given me most of my favorites. Hey Mom? You have excellent taste.

You're all officially invited to come over and drink lattes out of my Christmas mugs. You bring the cookies!

Sinterklaas Day

Baby, it's cold outside.

It's been in the 20's when we've woken up the last several mornings and everything is covered with frost. It's beautiful! It also makes me very thankful for central heating. And insulation. Anybody ever read "The Long Winter" in Laura Ingalls Wilder's Little House series? Talk about cold . . . I would have made a terrible pioneer.

It's so interesting how the spider webs are magnified by the frost. I thought I'd pretend to be a photographer and go outside and snap a few pics to share. I'd find a web, take a few shots then move to a different web and do the same. Then I took a good look around and realized there were spider webs ALL OVER THE PLACE. I'd never have noticed if the frost hadn't lit them up. Once I was aware of the sheer number of webs I quickly came inside.

Beautiful? Yes. Highly creepy? Double yes. Me and spiders don't get along so well. Even frozen spiders. Plus it was cold and it's a holiday - I've got things to do.

Yep, that's right - we're celebrating Sinterklaas Day today! It's a Dutch children's holiday, celebrated on the eve of St. Nicholas' Feast Day, a religious holiday in Europe.

Since I'm part Dutch, I decided to embrace this part of my heritage and start some new family traditions. From what I've read, it's a day for people to make good-natured fun of each other, eat special cookies and enjoy home-made gifts that are camouflaged, hidden and obtained by going on treasure hunts! You're also supposed to make poems to go along with the gifts but I blew that off.

Now, does any of that sound fun? I sure thought so, so I started planning a little somethin' for the family.

I started with the gifts. As a cardmaker, stamper and scrapbooker, I have LOADS of paper supplies and doodads from which to create wonderful homemade things. I settled upon bookmarks for Duane and the kids. Here they are . . .

It took me a couple of hours to make these.

Last week I asked all the kids what their favorite colors were, so I could be REALLY creative. Custom bookmarks. Who knew?

We started with the treasure hunt after lunch. What a ball! I wrote 13 clues and hid them around the house, primarily using our Christmas decorations. It was a blast, watching the kids figure out the clues. They'd read it, think about it, then the eyes would light up and they'd take off running, in search of the next clue. They were so smart - I thought some of the clues would be difficult but they had no problems at all. Next year I'll make the treasure hunt longer.

Can you read the bottom clue? That was my favorite one. It says, "He's making a list, checking it twice . . ."

And that sent the kids and Duane to this . . .

One of the many Santas that my artistic mother-in-law makes. We have around 50 of these Santas, all with a different theme and they are lovely, lovely works of art. She sells them, too, if anybody's interested.

See Santa's list? Whew - glad I made it on there. Every year I'm on pins and needles, wondering if my niceness can outweigh my naughtiness. Santa's a tolerant guy, isn't he?

And now, the final piece of the Sinterklaas celebration - cookies.

These are called speculaas. They're like a gingerbread cookie and are made in wooden molds in the Netherlands. I made two different recipes and dipped mine in melted white chocolate. So far the big winner between the two is the one on the right. Here's the link if you want to try it out!

I can see doing this holiday every year with my family. It's low-key, simple and fun. We could all use a little low-key and simple during the holidays, couldn't we?

Happy Sinterklaas Day!