Ta daaaa!

Hey, guess what? I took this picture in my backyard. I thought it was pretty. I have no idea how I did it. If I were to try again, it would take me forever to figure out the light and aperture and shutter speed and iso again. The only thing I remember is which of my two lenses I used. But, my goal is to be as good as my friend, Jenny. She's a pro and she's taken pictures of our family. Any of you that have been in our house and seen the fabulous black and white photos on the wall - Jenny.

If Jenny had taken this picture it would look like this, only better and more Jenny-like.

Someday when I grow up I want to be like Jenny Benge.

Hello? Jenny? If you're reading this, I want to be you. I want the pictures that come out of my camera to look like they came out of your camera. Is that too much to ask?

OK, enough about my fantasy life. I need to go get ready for Lego Day tomorrow.

It's About Time

Oh, FINALLY! It's spring break, baby and it couldn't be sweeter. We're getting tired of school around here and I don't just mean the kids. No more nightly homework or lunch boxes! My laundry is now cut in half since the kids aren't wearing uniforms every day. Of course now that we can sleep in, it means they get up extra early so they can play the Wii. I had to lay down the law last night which is - no Wii until you are dressed, beds are made and you have eaten breakfast. It's amazing how independent they become when they have a goal. All three kids did all those things before I was awake this morning. How sweet it is.

We don't have any major plans - no traveling or beach or even any sleepovers at this point. We do have a house guest . . .

Meet Lilly - she's a sweetheart and she loves cat food.

Lilly belongs to the Bonners, who are in Hawaii for spring break. Our cats are totally down with it. In fact, they are grateful she's eating all their new food - they can't stand it but I won't buy their old food until the new is all gone. Lilly is TOTALLY HELPING THEM OUT. The animals are plotting against me.

The only thing we have going is Lego Day this Thursday. The boys invited 13 friends over to play legos all day. They will all bring their own sack lunch - am I a genius or what? I may make them cookies, though. I found a recipe for homemade Oreos - mmmmmmm.

We had a Lego Day warmup yesterday. It was "BrickFest" at the Oregon Convention Center and we scooted over there after church and Starbucks. Salina people, picture this - a huge room about double the size of the 4-H building/Ag Hall complex filled with lego stuff. Of course there were people selling legos but we were there to see the displays they had made out of legos. The participants were from all over the country and they were primarily grownups. Look at this -

A roller coaster . . . oh my . . .

. . . here's the other half of it.

Here are the kids, watching it. It was really cool. We spent close to three hours at this thing and it was CRAZY the stuff that people built. There was a big group of guys from southern CA who built a lego city, complete with a train station, two running trains, a farm area, 15 ft suspension bridge and city skyline.

There were also a ton of Star Wars lego things, of which the boys are completely entranced. Matthew and Daniel each got a much-coveted Star Wars figure. Let me introduce you to the two newest members of the family -

Count Dooku and Mace Windu. Count Dooku is a bad guy - think Darth Vader before Darth was around. Mace is a good guy - he's a Jedi knight and he's on the Jedi Council and I can't believe I'm even talking about them. I'm a geek.

But at least my kids think I'm cool. That's all that matters, right? RIGHT?

Hellooooo - is this thing on?

I Want to Marry Costco

Before I get started, this picture has nothing to do with this post. I just like it. And now, on to important stuff.

I love Costco.

I love their $1 lattes and their low gas prices. Someday, my dream is to go to Costco and leisurely go down every aisle - emphasis on leisurely. That means no kids asking every 10 minutes, "Mo-om, when are we done?" and me saying, "Be quiet and eat your churro. Mommy is meditating."

See, usually we run in, grab our stuff and spend more time in the check-out line than actually shopping. It's a sad state of affairs.

We got a letter from Costco around a month ago. This letter said something like,

"Dear Mr. and Mrs Karenpie,

According to our records, you purchased a package of peanut butter crackers in July, 2008. Since that time there have been concerns about salmonella contamination in certain peanut butter products. While we don't believe the products you purchased are affected, we respect our customers' concerns and are offering you a refund. Please return any unused portion, blah, blah, blah . . . ."

After reading the letter, my first thought was - COOL! How awesome is THAT? I mean, what kind of database does Costco have, that they can pull up a purchase I made more than eight months ago and act on it? How many millions of items have they sold since then and they can weed out my dinky little cracker purchase? OK, I know some of you tech-geek people are doing huge eye-rolls right now (sheesh, Karenpie - information gathering and retrieval is way beyond what you're talking about - you're a bonehead).

Fine, I admit it, I'm still entranced with the phone. And electricity. Digital cameras? Fuhgedaboutit. And I could go on and on about the neato picture box in our family room on which we can watch -gasp! -movies. But aside from all THAT - after thinking about the letter, I have a couple of questions.

1. Are you kidding me? Do you actually think, with three growing kids in this house, that I have any "unused portion" of peanut butter crackers left after EIGHT FRACKING MONTHS? Believe me when I tell you the Costco-size box of 215,398 crackers I purchased last July is gone. And . . .

2. Where are the other letters? You know - the letters that indicate they know me and my spending habits. The letters that show concern about me, their most favorite customer. Letters like:

Dear Karenpie,

According to our records, you have made the following purchases over the last several months:

1. MSM brand tablets for Long-Term Joint Health

2. Oil of Olay Age Reversal Skin Serum

3. One-a-Day brand Daily Vitamins for Post-Menopausal Health

At Costco, knowing and anticipating our customer's needs is our highest priority. We see a trend in the aforementioned purchases and want you to know we are here for you during this stage of life. Please find, enclosed, a free sample of Depends Ladies Undergarments. We also sell these at our warehouses in packages of 150,000,000.

Sincerely,

Costco Customer Service

Or how about this one;

Dear Karenpie,

According to our super-duper neato database, the purchases you make at your local, Vancouver warehouse are beginning to show a trend that concerns us. In the past two years when you have purchased clothing in our ladies department, it has been in a size large. Lately, the sizes purchased have increased to extra-large. Our records also indicate an increase in purchases of wine, brownie bites, butter and artichoke-jalapeno dip.

Here at Costco, we pride ourselves on knowing and caring about our customers. We have enclosed a coupon and a small sample of Alli brand weight loss supplement. Please use these items in the best of health.

Sincerely,

Costco Customer Service

Database, schmatabase. I'm thinking Costco is underutilizing this thing.

Basketball season is over. Way over.

Duane and Matthew's team played their final game last Saturday (did somebody just say yay? Not me. Nope. You didn't hear it here.) Following the game, everyone adjourned to our house for the party. Oh yeah, baby. Pizza, pop and cupcakes. I ask you, can it get any better than that? I submit that it CANNOT (name that comedian). OK, we did have the gratuitous, healthy fruit bowl stuck in there but we managed to bury it in empty pizza boxes.

*POP QUIZ* How many pizzas does it take to feed a team of nine, 8-9 year old basketball players plus their parents and siblings? I don't know about you, but I can't seem to find ANY fruit in this mess.

Seriously, we had a fun season. Duane and my friend, Lisa, coached and Matthew, being the tallest kid on the court (huge surprise, huh?), tore it up under the basket. It was like he finally figured out how to use his height to his advantage! He must have made twenty baskets the last game.

After the party, a big four-square challenge in the street in front of our house. "Why - you ask - are all the kids looking up at the sky?" A huge flock of geese was overhead and the kids were preparing to dive for cover.

Goose poo can really ruin a good four-square game.

And now for some basketball season highlights. Admit it, you know you want them.

Waiting his turn on the bench, Matthew discusses game strategy with a teammate. The basketball was never out of his hands.

Here is a future, full-ride college basketball scholarship in the making. At the Y.

Hello? K-State recruiting? Are you paying attention? You want us to send you film?

This is the young lady Matthew was assigned to guard. He most definitely was NOT the tallest kid on the court this day - she was 5-6 inches taller than him. She was also, um . . . . developing. As in, maturing and becoming more womanly. As a third-grader. For. Crying. Out. Loud.

And that, folks, is why I buy organic, hormone-free dairy products.

Sorry. Tangent.

Anyway, all I know is, if Matthew didn't know what breasts were BEFORE the game, he does now.

Karenpie out.

A crime has been committed in my kitchen . . .

I have some disturbing news to report. *WARNING* The violent content of the following pictures may cause sleep disturbances, hair loss, sexual dysfunction, political flip-flopping and relocation to far-away lands. They may also cause an inability to perform daily activities such as, but not limited to, flossing, dishwasher loading, getting the mail and litterbox cleaning. BE CAREFUL. Take some deep cleansing breaths and have a glass of wine handy. Ready?

Last week, somebody came into my kitchen and did this . . . .

. . . . and this . . . .

. . . . using these . . . .

. . . . and left these. The nerve.

These three warriors braved the carnage and actually relished the battle. My heroes.

OK, here's the real story, in case you're worried about our well-being. We had our first Cookie Bake-Off last week.

I have somewhere in the range of 8 - 10 recipes for chocolate cookies. They're on recipe cards, written on scraps of paper in friends' handwriting and clipped out of magazines. I decided to narrow them down a bit, picked what looked to be the best four and made a half recipe of each. We did a cookie tasting before bedtime (yes, you heard me - COOKIES BEFORE BED - stop judging me for my questionable parenting skills) and chose the best one.

The five of us each got a half of each cookie to taste. Here are the four halves, married into mutant, cross-breed cookies. The clear winner was the one second from the left - Triple Chocolate Cookies. Unless you're Daniel. Then the winner is the one with white on it - Chocolate Crinkle Cookies - which I've had since I was a kid and it's still written in my Jr. High handwriting on a faded, grease-spotted recipe card. If you want either of the recipes, ask me.

So, I'll leave you with a final picture. I suggest you print it out and look at it. That way you'll keep the drool off your computer screen.

Ballerina Girl

For those in my immediate family; since you've already seen these pics, you have my permission to click out and find a web site that's more interesting (it won't be hard). BUT, if you haven't seen them you better stick around because there will be a quiz later, people!

I'm not sure if it's considered lazy to post a repeat, but frankly, I don't care because now I have a place (this here blog thingie) to store all of the things I've been sending via email. Oh, my. It just makes my little OCD heart go pitter-patter. The organization! The neat, little, dated columns! Having everything in one place! If some of you don't get it and are in the fetal position, sucking your thumbs, I'm sorry. I don't understand you, but I'm sorry.

The following post is something I sent my family around a month ago. We had observation day at Princess Girl's ballet studio and I got some pictures.

Ballerinas must have long, graceful necks. . . .

. . . except when their necks get tired of being long and graceful and they shrink like turtles.

Ahhh - the barre. This is where REAL ballerinas do their work.

Sometimes ballerinas get tired, especially if their underwear is hanging out of their leotards.

Ballerinas are very serious about their craft. They spend long hours in the studio perfecting things like plies and tendus. Ballet is serious work and don't you let anyone forget it.

Huh? What did she say?

Sometimes you get sick of acting like a graceful, long-necked ballerina and you act like a wiggly frog!

But, in the end, it doesn't matter if you're acting like a frog or a turtle - as long as you have nice pointy toes, you're a real ballerina. Everybody knows that.

Hi Mom!

Oooooh - Look! A NEW BLOG!

How totally unusual and creative! Another person talking about herself! Except I, of course, am blogging for completely selfless and altruistic reasons. I have four reasons. Three of those reasons are here in beautiful, Christmas color:

Aren't they the most beautiful, precious things EVER? My three kids, who live far, far away from grandparents and other relatives. Said relatives need frequent and creative updates on the lives of these wonder-kids, so the blog is born. And the title of today's post? Well, since I fully expect no one but my parents and possibly my in-laws to read this, I thought a personal greeting was in order.

I'll try to post (Mom, that means "write something new and put pictures with it") once a week.

Oh, the fourth reason? I thought to myself, "If I'm going to be on the computer, I might as well do something other than kick hiney at Solitaire Race". It's true - I rock. Be afraid.

Aaaaaaaaand we're OFF!

Love,

Karenpie